I often wonder how my life would have been, if I had the opportunity to give my nineteen year old self advice. I say nineteen and not eighteen, because the first year in the real world makes a huge difference.
In hindsight, it was all a whirl wind of events. Some memories bring back the butterflies of happiness and some make me shutter at the very thought. I wonder how I ever survived that one horrible relationship, and after kissing many frogs, finally ended up with a Disney prince. I wish I could take back that time, that I fell asleep at a friends house (one that my mom did not know) and my cell phone died, leading my mom to think that something tragic had happened to me.
It sometimes feels like an outer body experience, when thinking back on the times that I cared about what people thought of me. Wondering why I tried so hard to hide who I really was, feels like robbing a zebra of it’s stripes. Although, I sometimes wish that I could rescue my younger self from heartache, embarrassment and regret, I wouldn’t change who I have become, because of it. Perhaps, instead I would give myself a little encouragement for the journey.
Maybe there is a reason that we can only go forward in time. Maybe, that very reason is why we can count on the stories and wisdom of others. I think that the wisdom and stories shared are a form of love. It’s the love of the past, handed down to us in the present, so that we may have a better future.
I was inspired by a blog post that my best friend shared with me, where 21 people gave their 19 year old selves advise. I asked 19 pretty cool people of my own to help contribute some wisdom for you. So why should you listen to the advise of those before you? It is meant to be passed down, because we CAN’T go back in time. Never stop seeking wisdom and never stop leaving it.
19 people’s advice to their 19 year old selves.
Alicia 29: People are going to tell you who you can and can’t be. Tune them out and tune in to your own true voice before you believe the lies that you’ll be told and that you’ll want to believe as truth. You are the best you, embrace it. You’re not as weird and unloveable as you think you are.
Treacy 46: Don’t be in such a hurry to “arrive”. Enjoy the journey of your life. That’s where all the happiness is. And hug your parents a little tighter and a little longer because you’re really going to miss them when they’re gone.
Frank 38: Start investing in an IRA/Roth IRA now! At least educate yourself on it.
Shaina 28: Don’t worry about knowing people. Make yourself worth knowing.
Nikki 55: Don’t rush into marriage and get all the education you can.
Nadeena, 27: Know your worth.
Zoe 24: You are capable of so much more than you know, you just need to believe in yourself. Everything is connected and your thoughts affect your future, try to live by that truth because it will change your life. Don’t let the limiting beliefs of others make you doubt yourself or change who you are. Stay true to yourself and embrace the idealist in you. Stop apologising for believing that the world can be a better place. And that gorgeous boy – he’s a keeper.
Abbie 22: Begin your healing NOW because the longer you wait, the more layers you’ll have to work through. Take care of yourself. Go to bed earlier. Don’t listen to people who label you, because that’ll only set you back. Keep moving forward and looking up. Pick your battles and priorities instead of wasting time doing/being something/one you’re not meant to do/be. And relax a little into where/who you are right now- you’ll change so much, like a tree, over the next few years- and that’s okay, love. Slow down, your whole life is ahead of you.
Adam 36: Don’t you dare embarrass your mom.
Katie 25: Trust your instincts. Lead with your heart and your gut, not fear or insecurity. Don’t be afraid of your authenticity.
Jax 35: That is not a free credit card.
Genny 47: Always try hard to do your best the first time, because you may not get another chance.
Lauri 34: You are blessed with a gift. Immerse yourself in it and don’t let emotional attachments distract you.
Shayna 21: Stop comparing yourself to people on your Facebook feed. You are an original so your life will always look different to everyone else’s. Go with your own flow. Take risks. Always look forward. Don’t let circumstances define who you are and where you want to go.
Justin 37: Travel more. Even if it’s by yourself. Don’t wait for others.
Gabi 25: The chance of meeting “the one” is slim to none right now so have fun and put your friends first. Make mistakes, because they help shape who we are. Don’t forget to tell the people you love how you feel, because life is short and you never know when one of them might not be here.
Mary 36: Just so you know your 20’s are some of the most amazing, yet unstable times of your life. You don’t have that much money. You’ll go through different friends and boyfriends from college to starting your career. At the beginning, you will think you’re are sure of who you are and who will come out with you on the other end in your 30’s. You will be part right and part wrong about both. And that’s a good thing.
Michael 24: Don’t give up on college just yet.
Alejandra 29: Write down your favorite memories. Whatever you feel confident in, do more of that. Constantly. But, don’t be afraid of struggling – some thing are worth the fight. And, definitely apply for study abroad.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!
Lot’s of love,
Sandra & the Twelfth Element Team